


Dies a Little Quicker

by HazeleyeandHermione



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-08
Updated: 2013-09-08
Packaged: 2017-12-26 01:12:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/959836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HazeleyeandHermione/pseuds/HazeleyeandHermione
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a really late birthday gift for my sister</p>
<p>Guilt rarely leave the soul. If you asked the Doctor who he hated the most, the answer would be himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dies a Little Quicker

If anyone asked who he hated the most, it was himself. Although, he’d never dare admit to such a sad, painful truth, it was right. The man born in fire, heart torn apart by war and filled with hatred, was an impossible case. He’d always be like that. This man wasn’t even a man in anyone’s eyes. Usually it was because he was a Time Lord, therefore not human. To him, it was because he was truly a monster. Yet, a woman he knew had proved to him that even the most vicious and cold-blooded creature could change with a warm touch.

Yet, there was hope for him. Hope that could be found in the beautiful, warm brown eyes and large smile of a blonde named Rose Tyler. She touched a Dalek, and made it kind. Such qualities were unknown, and unpossessed by him. There was something about Rose Tyler that was special, more special than anything else, and that was quite a statement.

“Doctor?” Rose shook him out of his state. “Are you alright?” she smiled at him with such a bright and fantastic smile. It could burn out a sun, for the star would envy its brightness.

“Yup, I’m fine,” the Doctor told her. “So, where next?”

That was how he dealt with his emotions. The Doctor dealt with them by choosing not to dwell on what he had done. It was insanely difficult though, when the thought never escaped his brain. Every second in which he wasn’t preoccupied, an intense pain and indescribable anger filled him. The fact that he had killed every last Time Lord, everyone he loved, his old friends, the idiots he bickered with when he was no more than a child, it burned into his mind and left a strong abhorrence. However, such a hatred could only be directed towards one person: himself.

So, he traveled the universe, appreciating how fantastic everything is. Every little creature, every fascinating world and time periods. He needed a distraction, and that left two things; time travel and Rose Tyler.

“Actually, I want to go visit my mum,” the blonde answered, eyeing him suspiciously. “I want to see how she’s doing, you know? Just to make sure she’s not lonely. Sometimes I feel like I’m the only one she’s got, you know? I mean, I’ve got you, and Mickey...” her voice got quieter as she said the latter’s name. “He’s a bit fed up with this traveling, to be honest. But, it’s my life, I feel like I should be able to decide what to do with it! Sorry if I went on a bit of a spew, it’s just, he gets mad at me for doing what I want to do. If I want to travel with you, then I will and he can’t stop it. Are you sure you’re alright?”

“Hmm? Oh, yeah. I’m fine, nothing wrong here,” the Doctor grinned at her widely. She has people to look out for her, keep her safe. I endanger her, even though she says she’s got me as one of those people. “So, popping back home for a visit? Nothing particularly interesting about that. Granted, you never know when it’s time for a surprise!”

Rose rolled her brown eyes and laughed. “Of course, nothing’s interesting unless there’s an alien attack! So, can we go?” the Doctor sighed, and nodded, grinning. His soft spot for Rose kicked in. “Great,” she beamed happily. 

Once they got to her mum’s house, Rose knocked softly and swiftly on the door. Her mother opened it, and her face paled in shock, but she grinned. “Rose!” she laughed, “I wasn’t expecting you,” she said as she swept her daughter into a hug. Rose whispered something into her mum’s ear. Her face became grave, and she nodded. “Of course,” she glanced at the scarred Time Lord, “You. Wait in the living room. Watch TV or something.” she ordered, and the two blondes walked into the kitchen.

The Doctor nodded and plopped down onto the sofa, only to have Jackie turn around and reprimand him quickly. He straightened out the cushions and rolled his tired, blue eyes before sitting down and them properly, crossing his arms in an act of stubborn defiance. Instead, he tried to overhear the conversation.

“Mum, I need your advice...” Rose began; you could hear a hesitant worry apparent in every word that rolled off of her tongue.

“On what?”

“Well, you see... I’m worried about the Doctor. I’ve noticed he’s been... angrier at himself. I don’t know how i can help him. I thought maybe...”

“You thought I’d know?” he never heard Rose reply, so he assumed she nodded. “Well... Family makes people happy, most people... put the best of themselves into their family. Perhaps if he saw his children? I believe he mentioned he had a daughter or son once.” 

“It’s a start, Mum,” her voice had become slightly lackluster and disappointed, as if she was certain the attempt would turn out futile.

“Oh and Rose?”

“Yes, Mum?”

“B-before you leave... Can you tell me... When you’ll come home? For good?” he heard a pregnant pause before Rose finally replied.  
.  
“I... Don’t think I can. Do you remember, when I can home and talked about Isador and Ida Straus? It’s... It’s like that. I more or less live with him, Mum... I think I’ll die with him too. I-It’s fitting, right? He’s saved my life, after all.”

“He’s nearly ended it too,” Jackie pointed out. The Time Lord thought for a second and merely shrugged, she did have a point. But, if Rose died with him, he knew that death would be caused by him too.

The Tylers soon reentered the living room, and Rose grabbed her bag. “Come on then, Doctor, I don’t see any signs of alien attacks or anything peculiar, no need for us to stick around for long. I’ve got a great idea as to where we can go next!”

“Leaving already? I thought you’d want to talk to your mum a bit more, stay for tea. She’s not even slapped me yet! I mean, isn’t that customary? Are you sure you want to leave, Rose?” this earned him another quizzical look from his companion.

“No, mum’s already said she’s got plans with the girls tonight, so let’s get a move on,” she grabbed his hand and grinned widely.

The Doctor smirked at her eagerness and ran back to the TARDIS. He placed his hands onto the controls and turned to Rose. “So, where is this place? What’s this great idea of yours?”

“Well, you’ve been looking so sad and lonely lately... I was thinking, we could visit your family? Your children... go to Gallifrey before the Time War,” her smile dissolved into an expression so miserable, that a glance could shatter any hearts. It could only be rivaled by his own, for he knew the trip was impossible.  
“Rose, as much as I appreciate the gesture, it’s impossible,” he took a deep breath, “how much do you really know about the Time War and the lock put on it?”

Rose looked down, refusing to make eye contact with him. “All I know is that it was this huge war that destroyed your people and most of the Daleks... that’s all you told me. Your planets were destroyed in the process, but why wouldn’t it be possible to go there before the Time War?”

The Doctor stared to pace around the control room. “Because, I had to place a lock on it. Both planets are trapped there for eternity. It was the only way! I can never see them again, Rose! It’s my fault, I did what I had to do, but I escaped, I lived when everyone else died! My entire family, everyone is gone...”

Rose opened her mouth, as if she were about to say something, but no words would come out. Perhaps there were no exact words to fit such a somber situation. She merely wrapped her arms around him and kept him in the embrace, hoping her touch would at least help close such deep wounds.

“Get out,” he said, escaping out of her grasp. “Please, Rose. Get out.”

“What do you mean, get out? You need someone here, Doctor, don’t even tell me otherwise,” she placed a hand on his shoulder, eyes teeming with sadness. “Why would you want who could help you to leave?”

He sighed and turned to her. “Rose, I’ve lived a long life. And in all of these never-ending years, I’ve learnt one thing. Everyone dies. When they’re with me, they die just a little bit quicker. And I don’t want that to happen to someone so fantastic. So, leave, you’ll be a lot safer.”

Rose stood where she was, and kissed his cheek. She muttered to herself, _“Friendship dies and true love lies, night will fall and the dark will rise, when a good man goes to war.”_


End file.
